one day i'll update when i'm happy

[mnemehoshiko]

i was on the blue hellsite today and scrolling and someone was posting awareness about Palestine except the included a video from the hospital bombing and i saw a blanket with four babies lying across it. their eyes closed. covered in ash and burns and something inside just broke. four babies not even the length of my fucking arm and they're dead. because no one gives a fuck.
i hate this.
it's cruel. it's genocide. and i'm complicit in it because my taxes help fund these crimes.
it feels incredibly hopeless.
i live in a world where even the mildest mention "hey maybe ethnic cleansing is bad" is something that can literally get me fired/doxxed or worse.

a landlord in Chicago this week, after being indoctrinated by the news, went and stabbed a tenant and her child. the tenant was a Palestinian-Muslim woman, the child was 6 years old. just a week ago, evidently the landlord was giving him toys. this week he stabbed that same child 26 times because he felt that he was a threat.

my mother mentioned breaking out the curling iron again in case she needs to stop wearing hijab for her safety. it's horrible that we're coming to this. i don't know how this is going to end beyond yet more death. more fear. and i'm tired.

i just want to live in peace.
i just want to live.
i don't know if that's feasible anymore.